Most of the people you meet and interact with come to fill a certain niche in your social life. The quiet ones you may realize are good listeners, and so you talk to them about your own life. The funny ones you keep around for entertainment, picking you up when you’re bored. But regular people are limited; personalities and personal skills will mean they can only do certain things for you. Gumby is far more versatile than that, though! Just look at all the great things

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Gumby can be for you:

1. Personal advisor: Bring your Gumbywith you to classes, meetings, and on dates. Refuse to make any major decision without consulting Gumby first. Whisper conspiratorially with him while making pointed looks at other people in the room. If there is anyone present you dislike, kindly inform them that “Gumby does not approve of their presence” and ask them to leave. 2. Wingman: Have you ever met a hot girl only to discover she was encumbered by some unattractive female she for some reason considers a friend? Not a problem any more! Just suggest a double date – you take the hottie, and Gumby will take care of the nottie!
3. Reference: Tired of having hiring services call your *actual* previous employers and hear about your embarrassing odor problem? Not to worry! Just list Gumby as a personal reference, he’s sure to speak only the best of you. What employer wouldn’t love to hear that such a famous and well-loved character is a personal friend of yours?
4. Poison taster: The great kings of old had them, so why shouldn’t you? The trouble with finding a poison taster, of course, is that you need someone you can trust, but are also willing to allow to die by poisoning. Gumby is a great guy for this job, since if you do lose him to an arsenic-laced donut, you can always just call in and order a replacement!
5. Sporting Opponent: Sure, Gumby may not seem like a great athlete, what with his lack of opposable thumbs or animate free will. But just think of how great you’ll look by comparison! No more embarrassment as you lose one-on-one basketball games by over thirty points; we can almost guarantee you will be better than this plastic toy at some or most sporting activities!
6. Scapegoat: If there’s one thing everyone hates in this world, it’s having to take responsibility for their own screw-ups. Well, suffer no more! Now all of your ineptitudes and inadequacies, all your blunders and flaws and even just basic slacking, can fall on Gumby’s head! Missed a meeting? Gumby made you late. Didn’t return a call? Gumby never gave you the message.
7. Role Model: Who better to try to be like than Gumby? He’s flexible, he’s always smiling, and he’s loved by children and former children everywhere! Plus, he’s green, made of plastic, and has a horse for a best friend.
8. Therapist: No need to pay some licensed psychiatrist huge wads of money to listen to your problems any more. Just plop yourself on a couch and Gumby will listen for hours on end without ever interrupting to talk about his own much less interesting life!

More info: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gumby